New Element Discovered - Gv

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet
known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25
assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 312.



These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since
Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected,
because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny
amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less
than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 - 6 years. It does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Day at the beach

Took the kids to the beach. Had a great time.

 

People say we are a family of over-achievers, but they haven't met my uncles:

 

Or cousin Lucy, who never seems to know what's going on:

 

Man vs Fish vs Shark vs Croc

The breed fishermen tough in Darwin (Australia).



Take a look at this Man vs Fish vs Shark vs Croc vs Shark vs Man Video!

Big Cats and Tourists

Not sure if this photo caption deserves the 'best ever" title, but must certainly be in the top 10. (If you can't read the funny caption, click on the photo for a larger version).

Just exactly what would you do if a lion came sniffing around while you were trying to crap?

Speed Camera Hijinks

You've got to admire these guys for thier ingenuity and sense of humour.

Lawyer in Training

A Lawyers Education


The son of a farmer goes off to study Law at university in "the Big City". Not half way through the semester he has blown all of his money on the high city life.

He calls home. 'Dad, you won't believe what modern education is developing. They actually have a program here in the Big City that will teach a dog how to talk.'

'Bloody amazing!' his Dad says. 'Could we get Ol' Blue into the program?'

'No worries, just send him down here with $2,000,' the farmer's son says, 'I'll get him into the course.'

So father sends down the dog and $2,000.

About two-thirds through the year, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. 'So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?' his father wants to know.

'Awesome Dad! He'd talk ya bloody head off. But you just won't believe this. He's such a brilliant talker, they'd like him to have a go in the reading class!'

'Read?' exclaims his father. 'No kidding! Jeez, I knew he was smart. Can you get Ol' Blue into that program?'

'Just send $4,500. He's as good as in.'

As quick as the money arrives, it is spent.

At the end of the term the young man realises a problem...When he goes home for the holidays, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read. So on the way home he stops and shoots the dog.

When he arrives home his father is all excited. 'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to talk with him and see him read something!'

'Dad,' the boy says, 'It all had a bad outcome. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room reading the Wall Street Journal. Out of nowhere he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your dad still sleeping with that little redhead barmaid ?''

The father groans and whispers, 'I'll have to shoot that bastard before he blabs to your Mother!'

'I already did, Dad!'

'Good boy!'

The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.

Catch of the Day

Sex Sells #3 - Funny Air New Zealand Ad

Not sure if this is in the sex sells dept, or the funny commercial department. Either way this Air New Zealand documentary on the life and mating habits of the "cougar" is fall off your chair funny.

Controversial Air NZ ad.

Sex Sells #2

Second in our series of how you can use sex to sell just about anything. This time a public service message with (what else) French Maids.




I particularly like the celebration scenes!

(no nudity, but not suitable for the littlies or uptight bosses/workmates).

Sex Sells #1

First in our series on just how you can use sex to sell just about anything! Godaddy is a master of this, as they use sex AND humor!

(screen shot. To see video, click here )

This is the sort of video I just don't think is going to discourage speeding.

(no nudity, but not suitable for the littlies or uptight bosses/workmates).

Dogs Playing Poker

Who doesn't love "Dogs Playing Poker" (an old favourite of mine - who would not want this in the pool room")! 

Not only do these paintings have their own wikipedia entry but there is even an entire website devoted to them (called, maybe not surprisingly, "DogsPlayingPoker.org"). Not just that, there is even a video game called Dogs Playing Poker!!!.


The paintings themselves were done by American artist Cassius Coolidge (C.C. Coolidge) and were commissioned in 1903 by a Tobacco company to advertise cigars. 

The titles in the "Dogs Playing Poker" series proper are:

A Bold Bluff A Friend in Need His Station and Four Aces Pinched with Four Aces Poker Sympathy

Post Mortem Sitting up with a Sick Friend Stranger in Camp Waterloo

The original series was joined in 1910 by a similar painting by Coolidge called  Looks Like Four of a Kind.

On February 15, 2005, the originals of "A Bold Bluff" and "Waterloo" were auctioned as a pair to an undisclosed buyer for US$590,000!


Anyway, have to go now, gotta google "Dogs Playing Pool"!