Sunday, March 21, 2010

BMW Used Car Ad - Sex Sells

Ok, we know that car manufacturers are not shy using sex to sell cars. But this one is really very clever! It's from BMW Germany's European campaign for their factory approved "used" cars:

(for those of us with poor eye sight, click on image if you want to see it larger).

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

You only want to see these in photos

Ok, flying a plane is still an amazing experience. Some people are nervous flyers, some people are not. Those who are nervous should not see these aeroplane pictures. Those who are not, may be, once they have!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Catholic Joke #3 - Donation


The phone rings at the Church office.

 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'

'It is!'

'This is the Tax Office. Can you help us?'

'I can!'

'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'

'I do!'

'Is he a member of your congregation?'

'He is!'

'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'

'He will.'

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Larry's Proverbs

1.A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Thats one way to trim the hedge

No one can say these guys haven't got a sense of ingenuity.

Military Humor - Funny Photos from the Front Line

Great to see that there is still some laughter going on at the Fontline. Check out these funny photos from our correspondent in Iraq.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Catholic Joke #2 - Confession


An elderly man walks into a confessional... The following conversation

Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many
children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I
picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I
had sex with each of them three times.'

Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'

Man: 'What sins?'

Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'

Man: 'I'm Jewish.'

Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'

Man: 'I'm 92 years old .... I'm telling everybody!'

Monday, March 1, 2010

Catholic Joke #1 - Poor Box

Poor Box

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I
almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you
mean, almost?'

The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then
I stopped.'

The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're
not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and
put $50 in the poor box.'

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked
over to the poor box.  He walked over to the poor box, took $50
from his wallet.

He paused for a moment and then started to leave without putting the money
in the box.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw
that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'

The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and
according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'