My Active Life

When my doctor asked me if I led an active life, I told him about my day:

''Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge of a deep lake, barely escaped from a wild pig in the heavy brush, marched along a treacherous trail up and down a mountain, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand and barely escaped jumping away from an aggressive brown snake.''

Inspired by my story, the doctor said, ''You must be an awesome outdoorsman!''

''No,'' I replied, ''I'm just a shit golfer.'

What Women Want - More Life in Bar Charts

What can't be explained with a well drawn pie chart? If there is some aspect of life that a chart can't explain, we haven't come across it yet. Here is another one of our favourites:

Why Women Cry Pie Chart

What women mean pie chart

What Women Want Pie Chart

What Women Hear Pie Chart

But wait, it's not just women's needs and wants  that can be explained in pie charts. Men can also be explained in a couple of simple pie charts:

What Mean Mean Pie Chart

What Mean Want Pie Chart

Best Dog Halloween Costumes 2011

We're not sure if these really are the best dog halloween costumes ever, but they sure are hilarious.



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 How can you beet a crocodile eating dog halloween costume?

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 Or maybe a dog dressed like Sarah Palin is your idea of a funny dog halloween outfit?

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Some people can't go past Jaque Dogsteau - scuba diva dog halloween costume.

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Me, I'm traditional - can't go past the yoda dog halloween costume.

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And of course, how about these collies in their MacDonald's dog halloween costumes?

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 There is no doubt that this headless horseman get up is a great halloween dog outfit.

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 And there is always room for two more superhero dog halloween costumes

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 or if you're a Harry Potter fan, how about a 3 headed dog halloween outfit?

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 This dog thought he would "elf himself" with a elf halloween outfit for dogs

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And this is my all time favourite - a knight on dog halloween outfit.

We hope you enjoyed these hilarious dog costumes from oddballdaily.com. We'll bring you more funny dog halloween customes and funny dog dress ups when we can.

Two nuns are driving in Europe

Sister Catherine and Sister Bernadette are two Irish nuns on a wirlwind  pilgrimage across Europe. While in Transalvania the two holy ladies dine at a local tavern and then continue to drive. A few minutes later, the come to a stop at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.

"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Catherine. "What shall we do?"

"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Bernadette.

Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking the vampire about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

"What shall I do now?" she shouts.

"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican," says Sister Bernadette.

Sister Catherine turns on the windshield washer. The vampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

"Now what?" shouts Sister Catherine.

"Show him your cross," says Sister Bernadette.

"Now you're talking," says Sister Catherine.

She opens the window and shouts,

"Get the f--- off the windshield!"

Tired of all those facebook posts?

Tired of all those facebook posts from friends and so-called friends who just spend the whole time talking about how amazing their lives are and what fun they are having?

has this man found the secret to happiness?

A lot of people see this video and focus on the dog, but I think its the owner that is the real philosopher.

I think I could easily follow the teachings of a man who carries a gun, rides a motorbike, has such a cool mo' and swapped a beer for a dog!

A busy mum's day

Don't get me wrong, I understand that parents are busy, and juggling kids and other chores can be difficult, but take a look at these photos and see if some parents have just gone a little too far?

This is a lot cheaper than a visit to the radiologist

It's much easier if I do the shopping during afternoon sleep time

So that's why they call it "Duck Tape"

Just a sec darling, mommy has to kill some commies!

There's an article in here daddy wants to read

And mummy says daddy can't multi-task