''Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge of a deep lake, barely escaped from a wild pig in the heavy brush, marched along a treacherous trail up and down a mountain, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand and barely escaped jumping away from an aggressive brown snake.''
Inspired by my story, the doctor said, ''You must be an awesome outdoorsman!''
''No,'' I replied, ''I'm just a shit golfer.'
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